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So, I've been having dreams lately, about Blake.

And some other life changing stuff, I suppose. I'd say I'm gonna rant, but even thinking about Alex makes me depressed these days. I miss him so fucking much. I guess at the time I knew him he was annoying, probably because he was so fucking obsessed with me. But I have to admit, the kid had nerve. He followed me like a little puppy dog, which was exactly what he was to me at that time. A pet, I suppose. This was before I knew I had to leave, though. .When he found out I had to leave out of state to live, it fucking broke him down. He was emo as hell, man. (Sorry to all emos out there.) But, the main thing was me hanging out with Hayley, with Alex tagging behind us, all cute like. He seriously was just like a beagle puppy. Anyways, he actually left the school a week before school let out. We were supposed to go to the same high school and all that shit, but I had to move so we couldn't. I guess he wanted to be more than just friends, but I knew at the time I wasn't ready for a relationship. But as earlier stated, he was too cute to resist. He had our whole first year planned out. What we were going to do. I couldn't argue, because I didn't know what we were going to do anyways. Looking back on it today, that's what I loved about him. He could figure anything out in a heartbeat, and his face. Oh god, his face. Such a beautiful face for a guy like him. Anyways, looking back on it now, I really loved him. Such a lucky guy, he had no care in the world, it seemed. He wanted to spend his life with me. But what do I do? I leave him there, don't even give `m an email or anything. He doesn't give me his either, but that's not the point. He got worried, when I started missing school a lot. I swear, he thought something was happening with my mom. I reassured him it was because I got sick easily. Just kept feeding him and the others lies. It was all because of my mom, y'know? I kept missing school because the b*tch wouldn't wake me up in the morning in time for me to catch my bus. Anyways, you know what I get in a letter of response? A letter sent to my house, telling me where he was and everything, and him finally saying he loves me. I didn't know what to do by then, I don't have the letter now. I haven't seen him since.

Well, the dreams I've been having lately, my dad thinks they have something to do with the future. Or the past, either way.

The first and second ones were about Alex. Alex's smile, Alex's voice. Just /Alex/ in general.

The third one was about Kent and Nick. One of the most depressed, I suppose. It was trying to get me to choose between them. In the dream it was to choose whether I would save Kent or Nick. In the end, I couldn't decide between them and both their lives ended there and then.

The fourth was one of Blake. I had been invited to his house for one reason or another, and he had been still sleeping in his room. I remember walking to his room, worried that something was wrong. As I gently pushed open the door, I found him sleeping peacefully. In the dream, I brushed some of his hair out of his face and gently sat down on the edge of his bed. He was so gentle when he slept, noting like the monster he really was.

The fifth of the dreams was none like any of the other ones.

It started with a girl, a girl that eerily looked like my younger sister, who had just gotten stitches in her arm. Feeling reckless, she grabbed a match and put it inside the stitches, lit. Of course, I saved her from this, with a fire extinguisher. I ended up taking care of her as her therapist. Anyways, I woke up, then fell back asleep. Almost the same scenario. Except, I was the person on fire. Some chick threw a flame thrower at me, and lit me on fire. Noone saved me, and my 'therapist' said I would have a month to live.